


Catching Feelings.

by footballffbarbiex



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Cute, F/M, Friendship, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 08:10:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15263133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/footballffbarbiex/pseuds/footballffbarbiex
Summary: They’re both hiding a secret from each other. If the truth comes out, is it for the better?





	Catching Feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really tempted to expand on this and have into a series but I'm not sure yet.

_The sun comes up on another morning_  
My mind never wakes up without you on it  
And it's crazy to me  
I even see you in my dreams  
Is this meant to be? 

She’s been giddy since she woke up. There’s a spring in her step and she bounds around her house. She opens all the windows, puts on music and begins to clean. She wanted everything to be perfect, or as perfect as everything could be. She threw herself into the cleaning. Scrubbing the sides, bleaching them, cleaning the doors, windows, dusting, hoovering and making sure the bathrooms were spotless.  
She was leaving nothing to chance. 

Her hands hurt, her home smelt of disinfectant but only once everything gleamed did she stop. She left herself with enough time to shower, run round with air freshener and light a crafty candle to pretend she’s been relaxing all afternoon. She makes her way through the house, starting from the door and tries to look with “new” eyes. How would a stranger feel? She stepped into the house and sniffed the air. Does her home smell nice? How would it be to a stranger? 

She was on eggshells and it was her own fault. He wouldn’t give a shit about these things. He’d be happy to see her. These things didn’t matter to him but to her they did. She ties her hair up then pulls it back down and shakes it out, fluffs it up before smoothing it back down and tying it on the top of her hair again in a messy bun.  
She rubs her hands on her jeans and tries to calm herself. 

It wouldn’t usually matter to her. She’s never been this nervous around him before. He was just Antoine. Just Antoine. He was her friend. Her best friend actually. He was her first kiss at 14 because they both just wanted to get it over and done with. They’d practiced kissing until “yep. I’ve got this down now.”  
She knew he was good looking at the time, though nothing compared to how he was now, and it made her happy to know he’d picked her for that. Especially when one of their make out sessions ended with them fumbling, only stopping because someone approached the bedroom. She knew a first kiss and a clumsy fondle was nothing in the grand scheme of things but it still gave her a good feeling when she thought of it. 

She was happy and supportive of his first real relationship. She listened when it progressed as naturally as it could and he was anxious about his first time.  
“But when is the right time? How will I know if she’s ready? How did you know?” He’d asked her. Tact was never his strong point and still wasn’t. She’d stammered, spluttered and quickly changed it back to him. There was no way she could still tell him she was a virgin. Or that he was still the only person she’d kissed.  
“You just will I guess. I don’t know how it feels for you guys. You apparently think about sex every six seconds so you need it more than me if this is anything to go by.” He’d laughed, thanked her for providing him with no advice and hung up. 

Her first time wasn’t a pleasant one. It wasn’t awful but it wasn’t what she thought it’d be. It took her weeks to get used to the sensation, to stop pulling an unimpressed face as her boyfriend at the time humped his way like a Duracell bunny into a euphoric state before asking “did you come?” No, no she bloody well hadn’t.  
In fact, she hadn’t come with anyone but herself. 

The first time she came, she was alone in the house and she knew she was close, teetering on the edge but not falling over. She couldn’t seem to get herself there when Antoine’s face appeared in her mind. The image of him slipping between her thighs and burying his face there took over, her body reacting in ways she couldn’t predict and that had been it. The push she needed to climax as she pictured him using his mouth on her. She’d clamped her legs closed, scaring herself as it happened so quickly and strongly it took her completely by surprise. It wasn’t until she later googled it that she realised what had happened and that it was a normal sensation.  
Still, it had taken her best friend to get her there for that first time.  
If she was being completely honest, it was the only thing that still did. 

It wasn’t until recently when drunk and talking with her girls that she realised that it was her best friend that she thought of often and not always in ways that she should. She didn’t voice it to anyone. She couldn’t stand to be mocked for being a cliché. Falling in love with your best friend? It was laughable but she knew that was what was happening to her. When she spoke to him, butterflies would erupt in her stomach and she’d be excited to see him. She wanted to make him laugh and smile. She wanted him to notice her, the way that she’d started noticing him. 

She switches on the coffee machine and reaches for a cup when a noise distracts her. She pauses, her hand freezes in mid air in an open grasp as she waits for it again. The tell-tale stupid knock he does whenever they visit each other. Her heart hammers against her chest as she makes her way to the front door.  
“Hi stranger. Miss me?” His bright blue eyes lock with hers and he grins. His hair is much shorter than she’d seen in recent days online but it suits him.  
“Miss you? It’s been amazing not having to deal with your ass and all the drama.” She rolls her eyes and tries to hide her smile. He smirks and pushes past her. “Thinking of staying?” She asks, noticing the bag in his hand.  
“Oh. Erm. Yeah I had. Unless that’s not good with you?” He frowns, his smile slipping momentarily.  
“I guess I can find room for you…” she trails off, feigning boredom and closes the door.  
“You’re the best.” He steps forward, his hand cups the back of her head and he connects his lips to her forehead; a gesture he’s done many times before though this time she feels it everywhere. Don’t look it into it she scolds herself, mentally shakes herself and pulls a smile to her lips.  
“I was making coffee. Want one?”  
“I’d love one.”

\--

She stabs him with her fork as he tries to steal food from her plate as his own lays empty. Scowling, he pops the food into his mouth regardless and soothes the area of his arm where the light fork prongs have left non-piercing marks in his skin.  
“You always were violent.”  
“You always were greedy.” She quips back.  
“You love me this way, don’t deny it.”  
“Sure. Whatever,” she dismisses his comment, hoping her cheeks aren’t flushing with colour. “Then so do you.” She raises an eyebrow and stabs at the last of her food, claiming it as her own.  
“I do. I’m not denying it. It’s you that struggles with your feelings. Not me.” She frowns at him.  
“I don’t struggle with my feelings.” Other than how she feels about Antoine, she thought she was always open and honest.  
“Then why did you leave your last two relationships because, quote “it didn’t feel right. I couldn’t be open with them.” End quote. That sounds like issues with feelings to me.” Antoine sits back and puts his feet on her lap. She narrows her eyes at him and debates pushing them back off. He has a point and she hates it.  
“They just weren’t right for me.”  
“Who would be?” He asks, reaching for his drink and taking a gulp. His eyes never leave her face.  
“Someone more like me. Someone who gets me. They didn’t.”  
“Like me.”  
“Yeah I guess so,” she tries to shift uncomfortably under his stare but his feet keep her pinned. “Someone like you.” She repeats a little quieter. 

“So who are we looking for?” He asks. “What’s your type now?”  
“I don’t have one,” she shrugs, causing him to laugh.  
“Everyone has a type. They just don’t want to admit it.”  
“So what’s yours.”  
“Pain in the asses like you.” He teases and she smirks.  
“So, if I was going by that rude comment,” she emphasises the word rude and gets a laugh out of him as she tickles his feet, “you go for traits not a person. Just like me. I like someone who can make me laugh. Who has a nice smile” she rolls her eyes as Antoine flashes her his cheesiest grin, “someone who can cook.”  
“Because you’re terrible.” He adds.  
“Someone who gives nice cuddles.”  
“I give nice cuddles.”  
“We’re trying to find me someone else, not find me you.” She huffs, trying to push away the thought that he’s hinting a little too much at him.  
“Well why not?” He finally asks her.  
“Why not what?”  
“Why not me?”

He’d told her while she’d cooked that he was once again single and had been for the better part of the year. She had found it odd that he’d been texting her a lot more often because usually, he could only talk when his girlfriend, his ex girlfriend, wasn’t around. She knew she wasn’t always his girlfriends favourite person. They had a strong friendship and it was often seen as a threat. There was nothing in the news about his break up and so this was a complete shock.  
She laughs, her fingers stop playing with the fluff on his socks. “You’re joking right?” Please don’t be joking.  
“Well why not me? You were my first kiss. I know you better than anyone else. I know your moods, your behaviour. How to make you happy. And you’re my stress reliever. I’m always happy around you. You don’t want anything from me but me. Isn’t that what you want from someone?” His voice drops towards the end, something he does when he’s spoken without thinking and realised how stupid he sounds to others. Not that he has to worry about that with her because she’s never made him feel like he is, even if he was. “To just be you? To be accepted for you?”

She nods and wets her lips before replying. “You say this now bu-”  
“I’ve had months to think about it.” He cuts her off. He’s started and wants to get everything out before he can back out, “I woke up one morning and felt like shit. My first thought was, ‘who would I really, really like to today? Who, in the whole world would make me feel better just from saying hello.’ And I knew. I didn’t want to admit it to myself. You’ve never looked at me that way, even back then when we were trying things. You never…you never wanted anything more from me.” He pauses and loses himself in thought.

That’s not true, she wants to shout at him. She did want something more when that happened. She didn’t mention it again because she thought he was ashamed to be caught with his hand up her top and her hand trying to work its way into his boxers.  
“I thought if I pushed those thoughts out of my head then they’d go away because surely it’s only because of the break up that made them resurface and for me to feel like that right? I’ve now woken up for the past four months feeling like that with only you on my mind. It’s not going away and I have to know.”  
“Know what?” She croaks out. He swings his feet from her lap and pulls himself onto his knees. He moves quickly to close the gap between them. His hand cups her jaw and his lips brush hers softly, his nose gently nuzzles hers.  
“Haven’t you thought about it? How it would be?”  
“All the time.” She replies, pressing her lips against his. Antoine kisses her back with as much need as she pours into it. It takes all her strength not to moan into his mouth, though her lips do curve when she feels the low rumbling of his against her tongue.  
“Stop smiling,” he mutters against her lips but she feels his against hers.  
“I can’t help it. If you stop, I’ll stop.” He gives her a last lingering kiss as his thumb strokes along her cheek.  
“Do you really want to do this?” He asks as she nods, her eyes blur and she struggles to pull her thoughts together.  
“Over a decade later but it’s better late than never right?” She smiles and presses her cheek into his hand further.  
“How can you feel like you’ve missed someone you never had?”  
“We have a lot to catch up on.”  
“Why do you think I packed a bag?” He grins.


End file.
